Until now, I'm still in the throes of thinking what I'm doing these past few months. All I knew is that I've been putting my ideas into the cyberspace but getting nothing out of my own efforts. Sometimes, I have to ask myself if I'm crazy. Probably, not. I'm sure of that. However, I'm just wondering why up to this time I haven't reaped the fruits of my own efforts putting these ideas into this blog.
What I'm up to right now is whether I'll continue this blog or not. What if I'll just subscribe to something else that is truly my own. Here, everything is controlled by Google. Bloggers don't really know if their blogs are reaping enough revenues for advertisements put by AdSense or Ad world. I have no idea either. What else should I know except the fact that I don't get anything. Well, the objective of satisfying my want for my works to be put on cyberspace should be enough to make me happy. But beyond that, nope.
Like what I said, I'm not sure if I can continue doing this drudgery. The hours I've put writing my entries into this blog has been tremendous. But what else do I get out of it? Now, I knew that business is business. Tapping other people's creativity for the sake of advancing the interests of other people sounds unacceptable to me. Yet, I don't understand why most people do. It's not that I can't write with other publications, which I had been doing for the last two decades where my works appeared in several publications abroad. Now, I'm a little stuck here with nothing to gain.
Someone who reads this may try to echo his comments. At times, I'm surprised why I don't get any reactions from readers. Does this mean that my blog is drab and uninteresting to read? I have no idea. Even as I write this message, I'm thinking that blogging seems to be a waste of time. I just came to this thinking that this may not be the right avenue for me to make full use of my potentials in blogging. While other people are earning so much working behind their laptops, I don't. Will Google stand up and explain why is this so? Or are Google people lax in helping their bloggers do the tricks of the trade? If you were in my shoes, do you think you'll still keep this blog or not? I have no way of knowing if I'm short-changed or not, too. For me, working for free is just a crazy thing to do. I can't.